Recognizing their motivation helps you put their behavior in perspective, make space for a modicum of empathy, and pause to choose how you want to respond. Or perhaps they gossip to be part of the "in crowd" at the office.ĭeep down, your colleague's behavior is most likely driven by fear - fear of rejection, fear of missing out, fear of not being good enough. What do they achieve by not expressing themselves directly? They may get to feel superior by putting others down. Look for the hidden positive outcome motivating the person to act passive aggressively. When a colleague cops a passive aggressive attitude, determine how this behavior has benefited them in the past. But learning to short circuit this unproductive cycle can make you more confident and effective.
Shutting down passive aggressive patterns in the workplace can be tricky.
IN THE COMPANY OF WOMEN INDIRECT AGGRESSION HOW TO
How to deal with a passive aggressive coworker Here are 5 urgent steps employers must take to help women succeed in the workplace. Read more: Women are leaving the workforce in droves - and companies will suffer. Left unchecked it can erode employee morale and contribute to burn out - even if you otherwise enjoy the work you do. Passive aggressive behavior - whether malicious or unintentional or - contributes to a toxic workplace environment.
Rejecting other viewpoints and feedback. A cynical attitude or air of superiority. Procrastinating or leaving tasks unfinished. Passive aggressive behavior in the workplace can be subtle and hard to spot. A passive aggressive colleague may act this way because of upbringing, low confidence, or poor conflict-resolution skills, to name a few. In other words, a passive aggressive coworker may feel angry, jealous, or upset, but they mask their emotions through indirect hostility. Signs of passive aggressive behavior in the workplaceĪccording to the Mayo Clinic, passive aggressiveness involves harboring negative feelings but indirectly expressing them. Here's my advice to anyone thinking about joining an early-stage company. Read more: I was the first employee of a huge startup - and it was tough. When Colleen shared this with me, I knew it was time to re-empower her and take back control from this passive aggressive coworker. The colleague's snide remarks made Colleen's blood boil and she struggled to keep her frustration under wraps - often bursting into tears after their interactions. This colleague frequently withheld information, neglected their fair share of the workload, and left Colleen out of important meetings. But on the flipside, Colleen also put a lot of pressure on herself to do well and make other people happy.Ĭolleen's nerves weren't helped by the presence of a very passive aggressive coworker at the hospital. As a Sensitive Striver, her empathy, emotional intelligence, and conscientiousness made her successful. Although she had received positive feedback about her performance, Colleen still felt imposter syndrome stepping into a larger leadership role. Colleen came to me after just being promoted to director of her hospital unit. This happened to one of my clients, Colleen. An example of passive aggressive treatment at work Or you may find that your colleague's slights and undermining behavior trigger your emotional reactivity. Because of your nature, you may find yourself taking a difficult colleague's comments personally - making them mean you're incapable. 
Dealing with a passive aggressive coworker isn't easy, especially when you're a sensitive person.
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